When you have a parent with Alzheimer’s disease, you hear “it’s the disease” a lot. Many of the things your mom or dad does is due to the disease, but that doesn’t make some situations easier to handle. There are also situations that arise that you were not prepared to encounter. Here are three of them along with tips on how to handle them.
Rage and Verbal Abuse
No one can prepare you for some of the verbal abuse you’ll encounter. It’s late at night and your mom bursts in saying she hates you. You thought she was sleeping, but something has set her off and now she’s furious. She may shove you out of the way, hit you, bite you, or call you all kinds of names.
The best you can do is try to figure out what caused the agitation. Is she hungry, thirsty, or overtired? Could she have a UTI? Did she see a news story that upset her? Finding the cause can help ease the irritation.
Wanting to “Go Home”
Your mom lives with you or in her house with a rotating list of family caregivers. Despite this being the home she’s been in for years, she is always saying she wants to go home. This is normal. It happens with many Alzheimer’s patients.
There are caregivers who think packing up and moving to their parent’s hometown may ease the constant demand to go home, but it doesn’t. It’s just something you have to learn to bypass with a simple answer of “soon” or “when the house is ready.”
The No Clothing is Right Scenario
As your mom or dad’s short-term memory declines, new clothing is not going to be familiar. Don’t be surprised to have your parent become extremely agitated or refuse to wear anything new. It can be very hard to find identical clothing to what your parent wore 10 or 20 years ago, so you have to go with as close a match as possible.
Even if you do find close matches, be prepared to have your parent refuse to wear the new clothes. In fact, you might find your mom or dad tries to give them away saying the item is not theirs. To avoid the agitation and frustration, take the item. When your parent isn’t looking, add the item/s back to the drawer or closet. Keep doing this. Eventually, your parent will start wearing it.
Take breaks and focus on your self-care. If you’re burned out, you’re not helpful to your mom or dad. Caregivers can help you step out to run errands, go out with others, or have time alone. They assist your parent while you’re away. Call a home care agency to learn more about arranging respite care with the agency’s caregivers.
If you or an aging loved one is considering caregivers in Littleton, CO, please contact the caring staff at SYNERGY HomeCare Denver. Call today: (303) 756-9322.
