Caring for an adult is time consuming work. It can have an effect on finances, leisure time, privacy and much more — including relationships. Some say caregiving has alienated them from their partner. For others, it’s led to divorce. The stress can happen in a variety of situations, including:
-
-
working a job in addition to caregiving duties.
-
-
-
providing financial assistance for the person being cared for.
-
-
-
caring for a person in the home you share with your spouse.
-
According to the AARP, since 1990, the rate of divorce has doubled in people 50 and older. Women initiate divorce two-thirds of the time. Women also act as the caregiver more often than men.
Couples deal with these issues in different ways. In these trying times, it’s important to strengthen your bond with your spouse. Here are some steps you can take to keep your marriage strong:
-
-
Communicate. You may be exhausted or in a bad mood, but it’s important to talk with your partner. If not, any lingering anger could build and will only get worse over time. If it seems to be a problem to find time to talk, schedule time to talk … or just to vent. Expressing your feelings to your spouse is a great outlet for you both.
-
Communicate … with others. Yes, talking to someone other than your spouse can help you as well. If you find yourself talking about caregiving at home all the time, it’s nice to give your spouse a break. Have that conversation with another family member or friend every once in while.
-
Go out. Keep the romance alive by going on a date and remembering why you got married in the first place.
-
Be positive. Don’t just think positively, but celebrate happy moments too— birthdays, holidays, milestones, etc. Plan something fun and exciting, just because.
-
Plan ahead. If you don’t think you will be able to care for a loved one much longer, put a plan in place. Ask other family members if they’re willing to help. Visit facilities in your area, just in case. You never know what the future will hold and you want to be prepared.
-
